here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize