The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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