I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
