I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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