I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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