Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
