Dual....:-)
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
