Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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