Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My ass is underappreciated
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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