is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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