I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
