Just took my morning after pill in the library
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
