I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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