Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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