i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I got inside last night via doggy door
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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