worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
