i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
