too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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