I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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