You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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