I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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