I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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