Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Drake has all the answers
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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