He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
