some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Are we still banned from the library?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Randomize
