I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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