return my video game
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
That's how pantless uber rides happen
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
