I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
