uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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