Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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