He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
