i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
