My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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