Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
sarcasm needs its own font
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
