Buhtt sex?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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