he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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