Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
