I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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