I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
