apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
