she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
