my phone needs a breathalizer
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Never underestimate the power of titties
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
