If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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