need another drink. this is the easiest way
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
