Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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