Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
