I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
