Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm always down for nudity.
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