Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
