i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
