I think my fart just growled at me.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
