birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My dick has a subreddit
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
