Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
