help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
