He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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