I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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