i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
