Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
