It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
