if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
