Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
