I got chris browned last night
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
