and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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