When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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