sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
