Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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