Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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